i don't believe in sour grapes. never. never says never, though, i insist. put it in few words, why do you want something? because you don't get it, it's far from you. your object of desires and you maintain a nice distance. that's the nature of human desires, fatalistically tragic, you desire it because you can not yet get it. confess, it's terribly true. surely you still want things that are safe in your hands because they give security, comfort, sense of familiarity and warmth. it is too underestimating this feeling if you see it as mere habit. no, it is not mere habit. it rises above habit and has its transendent status. but don't mix it up with desires. it has never been desires and it'll never. it's also going to a wrong direction if you try to weigh the two. no superiority thing is in the question. i just want to maintain we can't compare the two in moral terms. desires are not bad things and long lasting things are not sacred as such. i'm really tired with this moral dichotomy. it seems so superficial to me that i no longer talk about it. well, it's another superciality and cliche to keep talking about it here.

i love stable life. but sometimes i just think that modern people are overly suppressing their desires. sometimes it's not too bad to have such wild thoughts that you feel alive like a child.

another thing is that by nature, desires perish as long as you realize them. if you have strong enough passion in something, when desires ran out, the sense of long lasting intimacy would be so generated. by that feeling, even without the drive from desires, you still want it.

you can't live by desires alone, neither you can live without it. mercy me.

- - 27.05.04
- - 25.02.04
- - 21.11.03
- - 23.08.03
嚙踝蕭嚙瘡嚙磋嚙踝蕭嚙緻 - 25.04.03

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